It doesnt matter...

Alice came to a fork in the road.  "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

'Alice in Wonderland' fascinated me when I was a kid. I gleefully lapped up her adventures, imagining myself  falling down that rabbit-hole, getting lost in that fantastic world of creatures ...an escape from reality which sometimes threatened to overwhelm me. Everything about that story captivated me 'cept for the above dialogue btwn Alice n the Cheshire cat. As I grew up, I found it weird that Alice couldnt make up her mind on where she wanted to go or what she wanted to do and that in my opinion was something of a 'serious problem'. 

And one day as I read the 'above mentioned' for the millionth time, I asked myself 'what is it that I want to do'...'Do I know the road I want to take'? In that instant I realised I was so much like Alice...confused, scared & unsure. I shut the book, placed it back on the shelf, walked up to a mirror and took a long, hard look at myself...I didnt like what I saw! I saw myself 'directionless' & 'clueless' and for a minute as I let that feeling wash oer me, I was aghast at myself...I didnt want to be 'Alice' anymore! I didnt want any 'Cheshire cat' telling me 'It doesnt matter'...It does matter..It does!!

I wanted to take control of my life. I wanted to steer my ship the way I chose, to a destination I decided upon. Of course, there would be 'stops' along the way, but as long as I dont take my eyes off the goal, the obstacles dont matter...It has been 8 years since the day I decided 'Alice' wasnt going to be my role model anymore...

I love to escape every now and then into the world of fantasy ..who doesnt?! But I have my feet firmly rooted in reality, a mind that tells me 'look ahead...keep going..do not rest till u've reached ur goal' ...I get tired sometimes wondering if its all goin to be worth it...but one thing I know for sure - as long as I plod on 'destination' in mind, the struggle wont matter...not at all! 

"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."